Brilliant Poet Conrad Burdekin
So pleased to share this brilliantly hilarious poem by Yorkshire based poet Conrad Burdekin from his latest book.
Supersonic
Gran
My gran has got a problem
She only eats three
things
Cauliflower, Brussels
Sprouts,
And baked beans from a
tin
My
gran is rocket-powered
Her
bottom sure is chronic
She
flies so fast it’s made the news
My
gran is Super – Sonic!
She has a bowl of sprouts
for lunch
Followed by some beans
Cauliflower spread on
toast
You know what all that
means!
By half past two her
tummy’s moaning
After three my gran is
groaning
Four o’clock she cannot
walk
And then her bum begins
to talk
My
gran is rocket-powered
Her
bottom sure is chronic
She
flies so fast it’s made the news
My
gran is Super – Sonic!
Blasting through our
kitchen wall
She really is a sight
Whizzing, zooming,
bottom-booming
In the dead of night
But best of all on
Christmas day
Gran ate a thousand
sprouts
She clutched her rear,
said: “Sorry, dear!”
And let a huge one out!
Loud enough to shake the
house
It smashed mum’s
favourite vase
As through the roof my
grandma shot
And landed up on Mars!
My
gran is rocket-powered
Her
bottom sure is chronic
She
flies so fast it’s made the news
My
gran is Super – Sonic!
P.S. Grandma, if you’re
reading this
We’re feeling rather glum
We miss you such a lot,
you know,
We even miss your bum!
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